A periodic blog about Games, Books, Movies, Pop culture, Technology and whatever else I happen to feel like writing about...

Friday, July 23, 2004

The Tragic Tale of Burgess the Bold

As I was writing Back in the Day, I remembered the D&D story that Colin and I will be laughing about until we slip into senescence. The names of the characters, their specific levels, and how many bags of Cheetos were consumed have all faded into memory, but the core of the tale is as clear as it was that day...

I was DM'ing, and I remember that I had just purchased some dungeon tiles, so that we could build the dungeon as the party explored, so that the inevitable battles would be easier to follow and to DM. I also remember that I had been telling the players that I was going to try and pay more attention to the relative timing of things, just like real DM's were supposed to.

As usual, Colin was playing, as well as Bob, Burgess, and maybe Bob O'Lewis. Colin had a 10th or so level wizard, and Burgess had a Dwarven Cleric. The party was being attacked by the typical mob of bit-part orcs, and Colin told me that he was casting a fireball spell. I told him that it would take a few seconds, and I asked the other players what they wanted to do.

Burgess, who was probably thinking more like a Dwarf than a Cleric, stated that he was going to rush up and attack the orcs with his beloved mace. He moved his miniature up towards the approaching horde. I was taken aback, but decided that this was a good time for an object lesson. I told Colin to roll the 10 dice damage, and Burgess to roll a saving throw. Burgess blanched, and frantically tried to get his miniature back behind the blast.

I quickly slapped his hand away from the miniature, and said, in my best DM voice, "NO". Burgess paled even further, made the saving throw, and barely survived the blast. I think he had maybe 4 hit points left...

Needless to say, the table was consumed in raucous laughter and good natured jibing as we imagined Burgess's Dwarf, looking like Elmer Fudd after Bugs Bunny had conned him yet again into being blown up by an improbably located stick of dynamite.



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